This week’s title, far from being an exaggeration, was basically what greeted the four intrepid observers who ventured into Forvie’s Sandwich Tern colony last Wednesday, for one of the big milestones in the Reserve’s year. With three weeks having elapsed since the appearance of the first Sandwich Tern eggs, it was time to undertake the whole-colony nest census, which is not a job for either the faint-hearted or the well-dressed. After all, neither the terns nor their Black-headed Gull neighbours are inclined to welcome intruders into their world, and make their displeasure quite clear by liberal applications of verbal abuse and recycled fish. But you certainly can’t complain that it’s a boring job.

The nest census is relatively straightforward, with the Sandwich Tern colony occupying a small area of open ground within the larger Black-headed Gull colony. To aid navigation, and thus ensure a 100% accurate count, we use a harmless blue dye to divide the colony into sub-sections. Thankfully, the resultant psychedelic crazy-paving effect soon fades away with the action of sunlight and rain. Then all that remains to be done is to wash the ‘whitewash’ out of our clothes and hair, and everything’s back to normal once again.

Following the recent discovery of a rubber duck in the gullery, which we speculated might have been brought back by a parent bird to keep its chicks amused, this week produced another curious find. This cork from a bottle of sparkling wine appeared along the fence line on Friday morning, and can only have been brought in by one of the gulls (it certainly wasn’t left by the Reserve staff, as we don’t drink on duty, and even if we did, we’d probably all choose a pint over a flute of Cava in any case).

We’ve remarked before about the summer season being stressful for both Reserve staff and wildlife alike, and consequently everyone has to have their own coping mechanism for those times when it all gets a bit much. But I must admit to being surprised that our Black-headed Gulls are now apparently hitting the booze in order to get them through. Needs must and all that – who am I to judge?

Occasionally when I’m out and about on the Reserve, I’ll get stopped for a chat by folk who read this blog, which is always good fun and often provides me with some useful feedback too. One such recent conversation concerned those dreadful ‘spot the bird’ photos I sometimes put up, comprising a perfect blend of nature’s best camouflage and humankind’s worst photographic skills. Seeing as these are apparently quite a popular fixture, why not test your skills, eyesight, screen resolution and patience with this one, which I lovingly prepared on Friday morning.



This week, the beach barrier fence continued its proud record in 2026 of needing repair work every single week of the season (and often two or three times a week during the worst spells of windy weather). Sure enough, after Joe and Emma had mended the fence last weekend, it was wrecked again on Monday night, and I subsequently had to carry out further heavy repairs on Tuesday and again on Friday – by which time my sense of humour was wearing a little thin. Still, on the plus side, I’m acquiring a physique that the late great Chuck Norris would have been proud of, what with all that digging, hauling and sledge-hammering. Well, maybe not quite yet – but with three months of the season left to go, I’ll either be super fit or a total physical wreckage by the time the fences are taken down.


In the north of the Reserve, away from the whitewash and screaming mayhem of the bird colonies, things are somewhat more peaceful. A welcome increase in temperatures this week brought about a large emergence of St Mark’s Flies, which, as I’m always at pains to point out, are nothing to do with St Mark’s trousers.

These splendid insects are harmless to us, and contrary to popular belief they don’t bite or sting. The worst they’ll ever do is clumsily fly into you as you’re walking the trails, as they’re not the most agile fliers. Mostly they bumble along slowly, legs trailing, and tend to congregate in areas where nectar-rich flowers (such as the Sweet Cicely in the photo above) are available. And being abundant as well as slow, they’re on the menu for everything, from Meadow Pipits to Black-headed Gulls – making them a key species in Forvie’s springtime ecosystem.

Given a decent look, the sexes are easily told apart by their eyes. The female has a small head with smooth eyes, whereas the male has a much larger head dominated by a pair of large, bulbous and amusingly hairy eyes. I promise I’m not making this up. My attempt to photograph a mating pair was somewhat foiled by a combination of useless ‘smart’ phone and incompetent operator, but you can still just about make out the difference.

The warming temperatures that precipitated the St Mark’s Fly emergence also boosted the growth of wild flowers across the Reserve. These included the attractive (and delightfully fluffy) Kidney Vetch along the cliffs…

…and the first Northern Marsh Orchids of the year, which are always exciting to chance upon for the first time, though it’ll be another couple of weeks before they’re looking their best.

Forvie’s dune grasslands are also home to several varieties of hawkweeds and hawkbits – close relatives of Dandelions and Daisies – and these are notoriously hard to identify to species, with even seasoned botanists referring to them as ‘horrible yellow things’. However, one of the easier ones to identify is the diminutive Mouse-ear Hawkweed, with its distinctively pale, lemon-yellow flowers.

If in doubt about the ID, simply turn the flower over. Unlike its many similar-looking relatives, the Mouse-ear Hawkweed has distinctive red stripes on the underside of the flower. So if you turn over the flower and see red, it’ll be this species – but if not, it’s back to the drawing board (or rather the field guide).

And in case you’re wondering about the name, the ‘mouse-ear’ bit refers to the neat, hairy leaves, which are another useful identifying character – but I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether they do actually resemble a mouse’s ears.

On that note, I’ll sign off for the week – need to head off and rinse all the whitewash out of my clothes now. Oh, the glamour of Reserve work!
































































































































